Honoring Individual Paths and Sacred Soul Journeys

I woke this morning thinking of all the movement and "personal work" my three kids have been experiencing. I know I have written before about how amazing I think they all are, but I also feel incredibly appreciative that they "let me in" and allow me to be on the inner circle as they stretch and stumble and move toward adulthood. I have always felt incredibly lucky to be a mom and taken the responsibility as more gift than duty. I remember when I was pregnant which each of my kids, I couldn't wait to actually "meet them" and saw their childhood as a chance to get to know a brand new, unique and amazing person.

So, now they are really stretching their wings and I am dazzled to have a front-row seat. I see my role as supporter, encourager, fan--I know that is not where many parents of evolving teens and young adults see themselves. I do NOT believe that I know what is best for them or that it is my job to judge, shove, shape or chastise. As a matter of fact, I was just explaining to someone yesterday--who am I to actually get in the way of them moving into the lives they are meant to live?

All three of my kids have told me recently that they have confidence I will be there for them unconditionally. I think this is one of the "biggies" where gay parents have a real advantage--having been on the losing end of "conditional" and since most of us have been through having to overcome bigotry, expectations, societal pressures and just feeling like those people closest to us just don't "know us", I think we can rise to the challenge of complete unconditional acceptance and trust in unique paths for our own kids.

As my kids work to figure out who they are and who they want to be and as they look around at a sometimes complicated world and wonder how they can ever find their place in it--I find myself wanting to honor those individual paths and stay out of the way. They are all three so thoughtful, so deep, and filled with a desire to connect and feel connected that I want them to know that I trust them--I believe that they really do know what is best. It definitely won't be a straight and narrow path and why should it be? Life is in the living; the details; the seemingly ordinary tasks and challenges--I have my own life to live so I am quite clear that my job is not to try to make choices for them or to judge, critique or stand in the way of Lucy, Lilly and Stuart experiencing their own individual soul journeys. I get to be their biggest, most devoted fan...