I have just returned from another international trip. I tend to be somewhat thoughtful and restless when I get home from such a big adventure. The work is unpleasant, but I do appreciate the opportunity to get myself out of my own cultural context and experience what the world looks like from another viewpoint. As a matter of fact, I LOVE that part!
I am wrestling a bit with what it means to be 42...and what it means that my life is in the place that it is. Surely I am not the only person to be slogging around in middle-age and wonder what it is that I am actually doing?! I find that while some things seem painfully obvious and clear, other things get a little muddier. My capacity for floating in the grey area increases with age and I am not exactly sure if that is a good thing or not...
I am not someone who has had a very clear vision of what I should be doing or even could be doing with my life; I've meandered a bit and tried on different hats and I still am not sure where I fit into the puzzle. While many people have found love, prosperity, and settled down into a life that fits them perfectly--I am still feeling my way around. In my mind, I cannot help but wonder what else the world has to offer? and I am forever wondering what wonderful surprise is going to happen next? These character "flaws" seem to stand in the way of settling down and settling in.
Traveling helps me to remember that people all over the world are leading personal lives. There is not just one way to go about things and I feel connected with a bigger adventure when I get out and meet some of my fellow travelers. I also find that I have less patience for wasting my time with things that make me miserable. Life is so amazing and so short, why should I be spending it doing things that contribute to my suffering? I love the shift in perspective I get when I come back into my world...we'll just see where it takes me this time!
No comments:
Post a Comment