There has been a lot going on--work, home, personal, public. The ongoing challenge for me is to find a way to balance it all and pay attention to what needs attention. Unfortunately, I don't always do the most fabulous job at that. Additionally, my own ego and emotions have a tendency to assert themselves at the most inopportune time. As much as I want to do everything perfectly, that just isn't always possible.
Teri's sister and brother-in-law have been visiting for the past week. As much as I tried to juggle my work schedule, I have had some responsibilities to tend to and probably could have been more attentive both at home and at work, but instead, I'm juggling. On the other side, I am still learning what is expected of me in both places. It is one thing to be striving to build a relationship when it is just the two, another to figure out who fits where in the larger scheme of things. There are unique realities to being involved with an identical twin that I find I am completely unprepared for. I thought I had relationship skills but they are woefully underdeveloped!
At work there is a culture I am negotiating; at home I find there is also a new culture that must be negotiated as well. I know it must be possible but I'm still trying to figure it out. What I have learned is that I need a little help in stepping up. I know that I need to get to a more competent place and I imagine that is one of the realities of relationships and continuing down the path of personal journey. When we first get into something, we imagine that we can do it perfectly. Of course, humanity and time take over and inevitably, we become a real person struggling with real challenges. It is up to me to figure out how to step up...
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