Getting Ready for Another Trip

My trip to Philadelphia and New York City for a conference is just a week away and while it has been a bit on the stressful side for a few weeks, now the focus on preparations is on overdrive. In addition to all the conference planning work, I have been trying to stay focused on the writing work so I won't fall behind, and get my family and home ready for my absence. While it is probably quite reasonable to expect things to be a bit stressful, it is times like these that I feel my reality as a single mom most acutely. I can't really describe my life to anyone who hasn't lived it so I don't even try. I just smile and say everything is fine; happening on schedule; it's all good. It is not like anyone really wants to listen to me carry on about it anyway.

I even try lecturing and chastising myself--what is it that can make it so hard?--the juggling of all the work, commuting, parenting, budgeting, shopping, etc.? Trying to get all the details in place for the conference, the writing stuff, and family? The lack of help, support, interest from bystanders? There are plenty of people who have a harder time of things so I try to keep THAT in perspective. And, I remind myself that all will inevitably be fine and, like my trip to Norway, I can patch things back together when I come back anyway. I wrestle with feeling self-absorbed, not wanting to listen to other people's tales and woes right now since I cannot really do it justice anyway. Mostly, I just try to tell myself that if I can get through until June (another conference in mid-May and then Lucy's graduation) that I can breathe again and maybe take a break to try to get things in perspective. Meanwhile, it is just pressing on and trying not to let up...