Compatibilities

February marks the third month at Willow Avenue--in some ways, we feel rather settled: the boxes are unpacked, dozens of meals have been cooked in perky red kitchen; a half-dozen parties and gatherings have taken place under the pointy roof. In other ways, we are still finding our way and learning how to live together. I get a kick out of it when friends ask,"How is it going?" The truth is, it depends on which day or week the question gets asked!

What I can say is that this version of cohabitation is different from any I have done before--there are no kids to tend to and while we are both constantly touching base and interacting with our kids, it is different since no one is currently living at home. I know this is new and different for both of us--two mothers under one roof and no children.

There are also very strong veins of similarities and compatibilities that are constantly being discovered. While we are two very different people, we have similar approaches to housework, time management, socialization, etc. Neither of us is really jealous, controlling or possessive by nature so there is a great deal of space and freedom in the midst of some pretty regular closeness and most of the time it feels downright friendly.

It fascinates me to hear and see the way people come together and manage to build lives together--especially in scenes like ours where there are not set roles, gender expectations or cultural conventions to dictate who does what. We also have the benefit (or curse) of decades of experiences and learned life lessons to draw upon. I find that while I still feel rather youthful in some ways, I catch myself making very conscious decisions to approach things differently when we have disagreements, miscommunications, or simply moody moments. While I am still challenging to live with, I am not nearly as challenging as I was twenty years ago! I own up to my own stuff.

It is still early; we are still working out the details and we haven't decided WHAT to do with the "blue room" yet--but the adventure is well worth the risk...