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Today Teri and I finished sorting and packing away all the Christmas decor. We are simpatico when it comes to our holiday decorating calendar--everything goes up on the Friday after Thanksgiving (Decoration Day) and it comes down soon after Christmas. A month of holiday house is perfect and we can start the new year with a fresh, clean, and airy feeling home.

This was our second Christmas together in the same home. This morning, we went through the spiral notebook we use to keep all our hosting, house, and garden stuff in and looked back over the menus, guest lists and notes from the past 12 months and I have been thinking about the process of our joint homemaking ever since.

We are compatible, yet different. There have been power struggles and negotiations--more than I have ever experienced. We are still in search of the new dishes that we would like to choose together and it has been over a year since we started that quest. As we were walking out of Pier One this evening and heading across the parking lot to the Pottery Barn, Teri commented that our differences in taste and preference are not insurmountable, but they are enough to keep things interesting!

We both care very much how our home surroundings feel, smell and look. Color and composition matter to us and we both value comfort, cleanliness and a homey accessibility. I can honestly say that I have never been in a relationship with another person where I shared as much in terms of tasks, cooking, and decorating. We joke about our "candle budget" and fake fight over whose turn it is to use the vacuum, but the end result is that this feels very much like OUR home.

I do not get to have my own way, nor do I have carte blanch over where to hang the artwork (or even which artwork gets to hang on the wall) or where the furniture goes. Fortunately, we both love change and there is seldom resistance to seeing how things would look moved around or changing out the bedding or curtains. There are times, I confess, when I miss my old life where I was the sole homemaker and I could make solo purchases, decide paint colors or rearrange things on a personal whim but I had years and years of that. Sharing a home and sharing a life this time around has taken on a new depth of meaning since we truly share in every aspect of building a home and a haven together.

So a new year is upon us; a new year of decisions, life changes, challenges and adventures. Teri and I have both lived in almost two dozen "houses" each, but this process of making a home together has been unique and fulfilling in a completely new way...