Last night, Stuart and I watched "Citizen Kane" together. We have been trying to carve out mutual time to watch this film for weeks! It sounds horrible, but it gets harder to get together on such things the older they get--first, we put the movie on hold at the library and it came in when I was in Indianapolis/Ann Arbor. We had to re-reserve it and with all of the graduation and end-of-school-year chaos, it has taken us another two weeks to have a quiet night, just the two of us, to eat ice cream and Cheeze-its and watch the old classic. While all three of my kids are incredibly different from me, we all manage to have a few things in common. Stuart and I have a passion for movies and an interest in debating politics and social policy. He too likes to look at things from every possible angle and look for connections, humor and trends. Stu and I do NOT always agree which is part of the fun. He will gladly debate with me the qualities of contemporary films like "Superbad" and thinks "Grease" is the worst movie ever made--but we also find ourselves on the same page when it comes to our mutual dislike of a movie like "No Country for Old Men." When we compare our "top 100" lists, we have several picks in common...
It is not so much about agreeing, however, but it is really about having a way to connect. Stu and I can always get a conversation going by asking if either one has seen any movies lately AND if we touch on the political or social policy headlines of the day, we could be chatting for hours. That is a mighty good thing to have with a sixteen year-old!
Stuart was an incessantly inquisitive little boy--always wanting to dig in to the "why" of everything, then he went through a very opinionated black-and-white thinking stage in his early teens. Now, while he seldom shies away from offering opinions when pressed, he also genuinely mulls over other people's comments and opinions and is fun to discuss and debate with. Additionally, with his passion for history and his growing interest in literature--he KNOWS things and that makes it incredibly interesting too! BUT, he is developing into a really fantastic listener too which is the hallmark of a good communicator. It is somewhat surprising as a parent when you start to realize that your kids have surpassed you in terms of their knowledge, interests, talents and skills. I find it incredibly delightful.
So, back to "Citizen Kane"--Stuart did NOT think it deserves the honor of the greatest movie ever made (I think that he suggested "Pulp Fiction" should be in the top five), but it stood the test of time in that he "got" it and could take it seriously. We had a rousing discussion afterward about what we thought it DID have and what did and did not work for us. Eventually though, the old woman (meaning me) got tired and by 11:30, I'd had all the deep debate and discussion I could manage.
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