I'll Take Door Number...

Choices...twists...turns...surprises--no matter how much I try to organize and plan for my life, there is still an incredibly huge element of surprise. There are days when I feel like it is a great mystery where I will be and how I will feel at the end of the day! It is like Dorothy and pals on the "Wizard of Oz"--what lies around that next bend? Who will I bump into on the other side of that tree?

Some days I am much more at peace with the inevitable secret that is being kept from me than I am on other days. Even though I have lived long enough to start to recognize themes and to feel my way when I know I am facing a familiar-feeling circumstance, I can still get crabby at the unpredictability of everything. "If only I knew the outcome" I tell myself, "then I would feel comfortable making this choice!"

Well, we do not know the outcome, nor do we necessarily know if we are making the "right" choice or not. We do not know who will be waiting for us when we walk through the door (if anyone) or if it will be lovely, stressful, exciting, rewarding, or horrifying. We just don't know. Instead we try to force things, shape them and ask ourselves "what if" until our throat is parched. The unanswerable question: "What if?"

If I get too wrapped up in worrying about what is on the other side of the gate or door, I can get immobilized and afraid to take the chance. Of course, I will never know what is on the other side of the door until I open up and take a peek...