Heading Out Again...

Yes, believe it or not, there is another two-week trip in my not-so-distant future. This time, I am off to do a conference in Ann Arbor, Michigan (outside of Detroit) and then on to spend a few days in Indianapolis, Indiana with my dear old friend Wendy and her family. I think it has been at least a decade since I have seen Wendy and probably 12 years or so since I've been in Indiana. I'm looking forward to it!

As for leaving again, it doesn't exactly get easier but we are getting used to it. I'm starting to get a system down and getting a little more Zen with the inevitable stresses and issues that pop up. Meanwhile, Lilly has finished all her GED testing and Lucy is getting into a round of testing at South--she has a week or so of IB and AP testing for college credit and certificates and such. The girls are also planning their joint graduation party to be held in June when all the dust settles. Stuart is trying to shine it on at Churchill and just finished picking his intended classes for next year--I guess it never stops!

I think all four of us are really looking forward to and hoping for Summer. It seems to be just out of reach--the weather won't exactly cooperate and our schedules won't exactly cooperate, but it has to be out there somewhere...vacation!

Lucy's 18th Birthday!

It did not matter how cool we tried to be with it, Lucy turning 18 was a big deal! True to family tradition, she is managing to stretch it out as long as possible and I am quite certain she isn't done celebrating. There have been family gatherings, outings with friends, plenty of cards and a few gifts, and a cake or two. On her actual birthday, she brought over a few friends and her boyfriend, Daniel, and with Stuart and Lilly joining us we had homemade pizza and shared a big chocolate cheesecake.

As the mother of the eighteen-year-old,it is both strange and perfect. I couldn't help but get nostalgic and have a flood of flashbacks (like one of those cheesey movie montages) but when I look at her or chat with her, she is so very much this incredible eighteen-year-old--I cannot hide my pride and delight. This is a major period of growth and transition for her--turning 18, finishing high school, starting college. She seems to be hanging in there just fine!

Back on the "Left Coast"...

It has taken a few days of re-entry--unpacking the suitcase and washing clothes, catching up with my kids, putting the house back in order. It has been a bit of a whirlwind, but I must admit, a much more manageable pace than being in Philadelphia and New York City. While there were many things I loved about the East coast, the go, go, go pace was a challenge for my West coast self. Not to mention, I missed my kids and there was plenty that went on while I was gone and plenty to do the minute my feet hit the pavement here in Eugene.

I had an amazing time with my sister--she has a quaint apartment in Brooklyn and works in Manhattan so I had to quickly learn how to maneuver the subway, taxis and dust off my walking shoes. Fortunately, I am such a fan of public transportation and I love to walk, so I enjoyed it. It was great to finally walk through Central Park, and Tricia took me to two Broadway plays ("August: Osage County" and "Cat on a Hot Tin Roof"). I also got to see Trish do a reading on my first night there--it was fantastic!

Now that I am back, it has been shopping for prom dresses (Lucy) and getting caught up on all the school, GED, and college stuff. Lucy got her acceptance letter while I was gone and Lilly went and got her learner's permit and is scheduled to start taking her GED tests this coming week. And, Stuart is starting a new school this week as well. I think the song got the locale wrong and THIS is really the city the never sleeps!

Easter People...

Three or four years ago, there was an Easter morning service that Lucy and I attended with Cheryl where the clergy spoke of renewal, resurrection and change--he used the term "Easter people" to describe those of us who learn how to welcome and embrace the constant cycles of life and change that we all face. We've adopted this term as a family and it serves as a reminder to us when we are wrestling with inevitable changes, afraid of what might be coming around the corner, or on the verge of being devastated by the unknown. We remind ourselves that we really are "Easter people."

That said, it is early Easter morning--an early-in-the-season, cold,wet Easter morning here in the Pacific Northwest. We are doing the best we can with it even though my bags--all packed for a two-week trip--are sitting in the corner of the dining room and the past several days have been overloaded with preparations, errands, etc. My flight leaves before 6 am tomorrow morning and there is so much going on at the home front, I am not entirely comfortable about leaving. Impending graduation, GED and Driving permit tests, school changes--you name it. My three kids are all in such states of transition and growing up that it feels like every day is a precious time capsule. All I can say is thank goodness we are Easter people!

Happy Easter--renewal, rejuvenation, resurrection--however you like to think of it...here's to all the growth spurts!

Getting Ready for Another Trip

My trip to Philadelphia and New York City for a conference is just a week away and while it has been a bit on the stressful side for a few weeks, now the focus on preparations is on overdrive. In addition to all the conference planning work, I have been trying to stay focused on the writing work so I won't fall behind, and get my family and home ready for my absence. While it is probably quite reasonable to expect things to be a bit stressful, it is times like these that I feel my reality as a single mom most acutely. I can't really describe my life to anyone who hasn't lived it so I don't even try. I just smile and say everything is fine; happening on schedule; it's all good. It is not like anyone really wants to listen to me carry on about it anyway.

I even try lecturing and chastising myself--what is it that can make it so hard?--the juggling of all the work, commuting, parenting, budgeting, shopping, etc.? Trying to get all the details in place for the conference, the writing stuff, and family? The lack of help, support, interest from bystanders? There are plenty of people who have a harder time of things so I try to keep THAT in perspective. And, I remind myself that all will inevitably be fine and, like my trip to Norway, I can patch things back together when I come back anyway. I wrestle with feeling self-absorbed, not wanting to listen to other people's tales and woes right now since I cannot really do it justice anyway. Mostly, I just try to tell myself that if I can get through until June (another conference in mid-May and then Lucy's graduation) that I can breathe again and maybe take a break to try to get things in perspective. Meanwhile, it is just pressing on and trying not to let up...

Growing Up...

This morning my son was up before I was and as I was trying to get ready for work he offered to make breakfast for the both of us. While I cannot even try to keep up with him in the protein devouring department(meaning I had two pieces of bacon and no eggs to his 6 of each), I am quite aware that all three of my kids are making such leaps and bounds in the maturity department. I have never been one of those whip-cracking moms, as most of you know, preferring to model and nudge and set a bar of expectation. After a few bumpy years, it is constantly surprising all the ways that they are stretching their wings and moving toward adulthood: doing dishes, preparing meals, asking me to teach them how to make certain recipes, letting me know what they are up to, making plans for the future, being respectful and polite, remembering to take phone messages--it may seem like pretty mundane stuff, but every time lately they display an awareness of the world around them and show a little forethought and compassion, I just can't help but acknowledge we are speeding through an amazing process--growing up.

Nature...

We went in search of a hiking trail which we never quite found--a friend and I--it was a quest for nature on what promised to be a fine spring day. The Sunday didn't let us down and we went to the beach and ocean instead and ended up with pockets full of wonderful sand dollars, plenty of sun, the sound of the slopping waves, and a beer or two from one side of the county to the other. I truly needed the get-away and it was a wonderful break from the winter and work. I am feeling blessed that life can be so marvelously simple. Oregon is an amazing state--not that other places aren't fantastic too, but it is good to get out in one's backyard and remind oneself how much wonder is all around us...