Thanksgiving!

No, this is not me--nor do I imagine it is any one's imaginings of what things might be like in the kitchen at our house. But, truth be told, Thanksgiving is one of my favorite holidays. It definitely was NOT when I was a kid (I was not a fan of holidays really at all as a kid--they seemed to be fraught with so much, uh, dysfunction.) In reclaiming my life as an adult and a mom, however, Thanksgiving has evolved into one of those times when my kids and I really connect. Of course, we have a bit of Turkey day historical dysfunction ourselves but as it is now, we dig it.

The key to the evolution of Thanksgiving? Everybody gets to do what they want. I repeatedly tell my kids that they are under no obligations whatsoever--nothing is carved in stone and they can go anywhere or invite anyone or we can adjust Thanksgiving to be whatever we want it to be. I'm not even married to the idea of the "traditional" turkey! The day gets tailored to fit the requests of those attending, nothing has to happen at any specific time, and I totally enjoy the planning, process and chatting as much as anything.

The strange gift of single parenthood and divorce is that I "got over" any fears I might have had about spending holidays alone years ago. I've spent several Christmas days completely on my own now and found they were incredibly pleasant--especially compared to some of the horrors of forced family functions I knew before. So, no guilt, no obligation and the focus in on people getting to do what they want. I hope it has freed my kids up to make their own life choices and I hope that it won't take them 15+ years to learn how to follow their guts and instincts like it did their mom! Now, don't get me wrong, I think tradition is great--but it is especially great when you get to choose it willingly.

The reality is that our Thanksgiving may look more traditional than you'd imagine--Lucy and I watching the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade; the brined and roasted turkey and the baked ham; my new dining room table set (with the leaves extended for the first time!) and a toast with sparkling cider--but I love knowing that it could morph into anything and we would have just as lovely a time regardless. It makes me feel incredibly thankful to have come this far...