Here I am half-way through the year of the Triple A's--Activism, Activity and Appreciation and I thought it might be useful to take stock. It's been a little up and down in terms of my ability to handle my chosen challenges (and those I didn't exactly choose.) I've had an easier time with Activity and more of a struggle with the Activism and the Appreciation part, as you may have guessed.
It is really tough to stay grateful and appreciative when life and times can be so rugged. There has never been a time when more of my friends were out of work, laid off, had their hours cut or were on the verge of job insecurity. It is becoming common place and I've just let go of any sort of fear or worry about it. I could just as easily have no job tomorrow and I feel totally compelled to share whatever I can with those people around me. Meanwhile, my kids have been out there pounding the pavement and looking for work and I, too, have been trying to keep my resume in circulation. It is almost surreal in how much "lack" there is swirling all around. I continue to try to cut back on debt and expenses and wonder how I could possibly get any leaner and yet I do. No car, no cable television, no home Internet service, streamlining the phone service, etc. I definitely work harder than ever and have less daily amenities than I have my entire adult life.
Meanwhile, a girl just gets moody and tired. As much as I really am grateful for good health and all the amazing adventures and opportunities going down in my world, I often wonder what the meaning and purpose of it all is? What should I really be doing and it I figured it out, would life be humming along a little more smoothly? Is there a way to make more money? To be able to afford some of those simple things that I have gotten so used to living without? Can I do that and still be available for my kids and friends and causes that mean so much to me? While I feel in good company with some amazing people who work incredibly hard and are also not exactly getting ahead--it is hard to live in this society and NOT feel as though we are somehow doing something wrong.
My activity calendar is quite full--sometimes it gets so crowded that I just have to let things slide. I cannot possibly attend every event, activity, party and respond to every invite so I am learning to choose. Of course, this is a wonderful challenge to have and it means that I have definitely fulfilled my promise to get things moving. I continue to stay physically active and find that I am doing more "play" than "workout"--playing kickball with friends, going for long chatty walks and dancing for hours instead of marching away on the treadmill. I love both kinds of activity, however, and am happy to have so much of it in my life.
So, I can report that what has come out of the first half of the year is a sense of community and connection--I still have not figured out my purpose in life and I don't know if I really can make sense of so much struggle, work, lack and stress but I do feel as though there are comrades and buddies with whom to experience and share the struggle. There have also been a great many conversations, laughter, and work sessions where we have all been shoulder to shoulder trying to fight the good fight for survival and progress...
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