Weight Loss and Shopping

After 40 pounds of weight loss, I just couldn't ignore the fact that my jeans were getting saggy any longer. In fact, in the course of one week, my daughter Lilly and her friend Richella told me I looked like I was wearing a "potato sack" after I returned from a party wearing one of my favorite tops and my daughter Lucy told me "it was time" to get some new jeans. It was strangely traumatic shopping for clothes 2 sizes smaller. Who knew it would be as difficult as it was?

The thing is, I've been the same size for a LONG time--I was comfortable, happy and generally confident and secure. I would have probably gone on happily if it wasn't for the health challenges that made it clear I needed to make some major lifestyle changes. So, a few months later and 40 pounds lighter--the wardrobe situation is changing. And, if I manage to stay on track, it should continue to change.

So, shopping for jeans and some new tops and trying to adjust to seeing myself as I am TODAY and not as I have been was/is a challenge. Of course, this is completely un-unique--we all go through physical changes constantly in the course of a lifetime. I am learning, however, that fact does not necessarily make it any easier or less "huge"! Sure, I feel great and I am loving feeling healthier, but accepting that this is a permanent change with obvious adjustments means letting go of the past in a big way. I think that is why admitting that I was not the same size any longer was such a big deal. It really is a major "letting go;" a major identity shift.

So, I did get the new clothes and they feel and look fine. I know, however, that this is only the beginning but as a friend advised, I am trying to be gentle with myself and give myself time to adjust, experience, and embrace the moments as they come and go. It is so much more than a couple new pairs of jeans but that doesn't mean I have to obsess about it!